"Begin at the beginning."

there are no beginnings, so here is the story so far.
I have been living along side AD/HD ever since my twin brother, father and sister were diagnosed in the nineties. I was diagnosed some time later when trying to get through university when I was around 19 years old.
I was prescribed medication in order to help me finish my essays but decided that if I relied on medication in order to get my degree then the degree would not in actuality belong to me.
This was my logic.
You may not agree with it but it is how I felt then and it is how I feel now.
So, no meds for me.
But you never know.
Sometimes, I like to think that I am perfect for my place in the world.
If I can find that place
made perfectly for it.
Sometimes I think that there are no places for anything
and that there is no perfect,
but usually I fluctuate wildly between varying degrees of each think.
Often I feel lost.
And often I don't know which way to turn,
and often I wonder if my salvation lies in a pill bottle.
I think highly of the humans and their technology and I think that technology is here to show us the way.
But for now I have decided to look for answers elsewhere, on line, from others who are going through the same thing. Looking for a way.
I don't think that AD/HD is a curse or a gift but a skill set that is coming of age, or will be soon.
I have to admit that I see it as a stage in our evolution.
In today's jungle it is the tooth and the claw.
It is the ability to be everywhere and nowhere simultaneously, and to fluctuate between the two states with the entirety of being.
It is both cause and effect.
Nature and nurture.
If you weren't born with it inside of you then you sure as hell had it hammered in to you by MTV, Coca Cola and the interweb.
North America was settled by the impulsive.
They created a stimulant hungry nation and character traits compounded.
A breeding ground sprung up organically as a shallow tepid pool.
And multiply and spread they did, we did.
Time will tell.