“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

Insert background music to this entry.
It seems all the more apparent that i am not at all certain where exactly I am trying to get with all of this...stuff.
I feel as though the more I focus on focus the more I see the fog that has descended upon my mind.
Disconcerting.
But I am moving...perhaps not forward...towards what or where I do not know...and I may be second guessing whether or not the effort is for naught.
but that never stopped me before...
so far:
I have seen an occupational therapist a couple of times and attended a support group for adults with NPF as well as hunted down the documentation of my diagnosis.
I am starting to wonder if this isn't really what my problem is all about.
I read through my diagnosis and it read as though i convinced them that i had ADHD because of my past...living as someone with ADHD...in a house full of ADHD.
but i don't know where else to go to help me with the deficits that i have.
whatever they are.
My support group is a gold mine of strategies for dealing with disorder but most of the people there are really struggling...i mean just to get by...to keep a job or a house or their loved ones.
And so i feel like a phony.

This picture of Frank Grimes pretty much sums up how i imagine people might feel about my current "deficit" hunt. My life is amazing. How did i get here.
Times up.